The Church: Christ in the Home
Ephesians 5:22—6:9
Introduction.
Continuing our look at Ephesians.
We have just considered our conduct as Christians.
Now we are to look at our conduct in the home.
Paul does not leave anyone out.
He speaks to the submission of wives, but then he writes about husbands.
He speaks to the obedience of children, but then he writes about fathers.
He speaks to the attitude of servants, but then he writes about masters.
He writes about the societal power structure.
Those under authority should submit to and obey those in authority.
Those in authority should be abuse that authority.
First he talks of the marriage relationship, then the parent-child, then the master-slave.
Body.
In Marriage (5:22-33).
The Wife’s Submission.
In the times we are living in, we do not like to think of wives being in submission to their husbands.
This, however, is the Divine arrangement.
When two people from different households get married and move in together, there is bound to be conflict (especially when kids get involved).
These conflicts only increase the further one is removed in the background of the other.
This creates unrest in a home.
There must be someone in charge, someone with the last word—that is the husband (5:23-24).
Jesus thought it was a good arrangement for His church, the bride of Christ.
Wives are to submit to their husbands.
Submission is not a dirty word.
It simply means that one voluntarily yields his/her will to another.
Another way of saying this is showing respect (5:33).
She enters into this relationship willingly, particularly in our culture.
Since he is her spiritual head as well, don’t you think it’s important for her to choose wisely (e.g. a Christian man) to be her husband?
The Husband’s Authority.
Since he is her spiritual head, do not forget the awesome responsibility you husbands have before the Lord to present your wives “holy and without blemish” (5:25-27).
The primary command is to love your wives.
The love is compared to the love Christ showed for the church.
That love was so great that He sacrificed Himself for the church—if we are willing to do that for our wives, how else can we show that love?
Since we have become one flesh, we ought to treat our wives as we would treat our own bodies.
We are told to love our wives as we love ourselves—this is a reiteration of the Second Greatest Commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:39).
Why repeated here in this context? Because it’s easy to forget.
If we are showing the love for our wives as this describes, women will typically have no problem submitting themselves to their husbands.
But not every woman will submit, so isn’t it important for a man to choose a wife wisely (e.g. a Christian woman)?
– While we have the luxury of choosing our spouses, our parents and children are another matter.
In Parenting (6:1-4).
The Child’s Submission.
When I was a child, I heard this verse quoted often by my parents.
While this can apply to little children, this also applies to adult children.
Paul cites the “5th Commandment” as backing for this command.
Jesus cites this, too, in Mark 7:10.
The Pharisees were nullifying the command of God.
They did this by telling someone who was giving money to his parents that they could give it as a gift to God (Mark 7:11).
This implies that money was earned by adult children and given to elderly parents, honoring them.
These adult children were not honoring their parents.
Therefore even as adults, we ought to obey our parents.
Paul says it is right to obey our parents “in the Lord” – only insofar as their commands are in accordance with God’s will.
You are not under any obligation to obey your parents if they tell you to do something otherwise sinful.
This is very difficult for teenagers whose parents are not Christians.
The Parent’s Authority.
Just as husbands are to love their wives, not abusing their authority, fathers (parents) are not to provoke their children to wrath.
This “wrath” is the same type of “wrath” in Eph. 4:26 – the sun should not go down on our wrath.
The parents are told not to cause that wrath within the child—can be done through various kinds of abuse: whether verbal, physical, or worse.
Instead of abuse, train them up in the way they should go (Prov 22:6).
If this applies to adult children, too, they have to be willing to continue being trained and admonished in the Lord.
People my age have turned the word “adult” into a verb – “Adulting is hard.”
Perhaps we have stopped listening to our parents—perhaps our parents have stopped training and admonishing.
But it is a delicate balancing act—parents must also recognize their adult child’s autonomy especially when they have a family of their own.
It takes wisdom to handle this in the best way—something the parents ideally have more of.
– Just as husbands and parents are not to abuse their authority, neither should “masters.”
In Service (6:5-9).
The Bondservant’s Submission.
Back then, they had the master-slave relationship that we do not have today.
But what we can draw from this is the concept of being in subjection to others who are in authority over us: bosses, managers, government.
The idea is that we are to serve those in authority over us as we would serve Christ.
He adds, “doing the will of God from the heart,” which means we are not obligated to obey in things that are sinful, since God would never ask us to do such things (Acts 5:29).
To all who we are to submit, we are told to obey them as to the Lord.
We are to do so gladly, without complaining or grumbling.
Why? “whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is slave or free.”
The Master’s Authority.
Masters had been known to abuse their authority by threatening, beating, and other ways most terrible.
Paul urges them not to do this because they, too, will be judged.
That’s a great thing to understand, that God shows no partiality.
It doesn’t matter if you’re Donald Trump, Bill Gates, or Jeff Bezos. You will be judged just as we all will be judged, and by the same standard—God’s word (John 12:48).
Part of how we will be judged will be on how we treated others—remember the Second Greatest Commandment.
This includes how we treat those under our authority.
If we have people under our authority, let us treat them well.
Conclusion.
Throughout history, throughout time, there have always been those with authority and those under authority.
This passage teaches us how we ought to act whether we are the ones in charge or not.
We are to willfully obey those with the proper authority “in the Lord” “as to the Lord.”
Those in authority ought to remember who is ultimately in charge—you are a not the end-all-be-all—that is our Lord Jesus Christ.
Nebuchadnezzar thought that, and look what happened to him in Daniel 4.
Our submission to each other ought to be second to our submission to our Lord.
Jesus is already King of everything, so will you recognize His authority and willingly obey Him today making Him King of your life?