Please click “More” for the outline. The audio for this was choppy and some important things were missed, but they are in the outline. Thanks!
Love Expressed in Modest Dress
1 Timothy 2:9-10
Introduction.
One conversation I’m not looking forward to with my kids, my daughter especially, is the one about modest dress.
Is that what this lesson is about amid all this COVID-19 stuff when we’re supposed to be in self-quarantine and it doesn’t really matter?
It may not matter now, but the weather is getting warmer, and this quarantine will not last forever.
Anyway, I’m not looking forward to it because then I’ll have to explain why it should be done, and no one wants to think of their daughter like that.
There is the idea out there that a man should be able to control himself, that he shouldn’t dictate what she wears.
In an ideal world, that’s exactly right, but we don’t live in an ideal world.
I’m not talking about things like sexual assault—there’s no excuse for that.
I’m talking about being that which your brother in Christ lusts over and stumbles.
In truth, dressing modestly is an act of love.
Preview.
Love in Modest Apparel (1 Tim. 2:9-10).
Love is the Proper Motivation (1 Cor. 8:9-13).
Love Instead of Lust (Rom. 13:13-14).
Body.
Love in Modest Apparel (1 Tim. 2:9-10).
The first thought many have when reading this passage is that we are misusing it.
They’ll say that this is for a particular context—a worship service.
They’ll say that these women weren’t wearing too little, but too much.
They were being gaudy in their appearance, showy and boastful.
My answer to that is… they’re right.
There is a cultural aspect to modesty in our application of this verse.
This is why it’s not sinful for women in our culture to braid their hair or wear jewelry.
Some denominations think it is wrong, but the truth is this is a verse addressing a cultural norm for modesty.
What determines propriety and moderation or that which is costly but culture—at least to some extent? There are bounds to that which we’ll discuss.
You see, there is an underlying principle that’s even in the verse: they are to wear that which is “proper for women professing godliness.”
Here is an example: is there anything wrong with wearing an anklet? No, of course not, unless you were in Ghana, West Africa. Perhaps other places, but this I know. Only prostitutes wore anklets there. So a Ghanaian woman professing godliness would not wear an anklet.
So before you purchase an item of clothing or you pick out your clothes to wear, ask yourself: Am I professing godliness with this outfit?
Some guidelines for modest apparel.
Some may not know what a woman professing godliness ought to wear.
Here are some biblical guidelines that will help.
Consider this verse (Exo. 20:26).
A man was not to go up steps to an altar to make a sacrifice.
First, note that we are considering men in this verse, so modest apparel is not limited to women.
If one were to go up steps, his nakedness would be exposed.
Back then men wore robes, but men in our culture do not wear anything like it typically—but women do, so be careful wearing that while going up steps.
Consider also this verse (Exo. 28:42).
The priests (men) were to wear linen trousers to cover their nakedness.
It covered from their waist to their thighs.
That is a good rule of thumb, but consider, this is their underwear.
They wore garments over this that covered a good deal more—this is the bare minimum.
Consider also the tunics that God made for Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:21).
Recall, when they ate the fruit, they suddenly realized they were naked.
They were cursed, and God made them tunics of skin.
The Hebrew word for tunic here is: כֻּתֹנֶת (kutoneth) – “inner garment next to the skin; also worn by women; generally with sleeves, coming down to the knees, rarely to the ankles” (Gesenius H3801).
So this is an undergarment, may or may not have sleeves, down to the knees.
That is one garment that covers the thighs with a high neck line.
This is what God made for Adam and Eve to cover their nakedness!
This is from the very beginning before any cultural issues come into play.
God loves us and has given us this guidelines for modest apparel—let us show our love for Him through our obedience.
Love is the Proper Motivation (1 Cor. 13:5).
The second greatest command is to love one another, yet many do not consider that what they wear is a matter of loving your brother.
Many give excuses as to why they should wear clothes in public that don’t fit God’s idea of modesty.
It’s too hot.
It’s comfortable.
I’ve got to easily move about while working out.
This is my uniform (sports).
This is the right context (I would look weird at the beach otherwise).
My tan lines would look awful.
I don’t want to be made fun of.
I can’t find anything at the store.
How else am I going to attract someone and get a date?
I want to be looked at.
Did you notice something about all these excuses? They all center around me. These motivations are selfish, not considering the heart of your brother (1 Cor. 13:5).
love … does not seek its own
Let’s address some of these excuses.
It’s too hot: interestingly enough, people who live in the hottest places in the world actually wear more clothing than we do. That’s because certain types of clothing allow for more ventilation, while others trap sweat cooling you faster, both keep you from sunburn.
It’s more comfortable: there are plenty of comfortable outfits out there that are also modest. It might take more effort to find them, but they’re there.
I’ve got to easily move about while I work out: same as above. Or perhaps work out in a more private location.
It’s my (sports) uniform: talk to your coach, maybe they’ll let you wear something else. Remember basketball uniforms a few decades ago? Short shorts! Now they are long and baggy. Perhaps things will change. Until then, is that a sport you need to be playing?
This is the right context / my tanlines / not fashionable / can’t find it: this goes to the idea of your own self-image. If you exude confidence, no matter what you’re wearing, you will garner respect. That said, you can find outfits that look good and are modest. They do exist, though it might take a little more effort. If not, do you need to go to the beach?
Can’t get a date / looked at: look, if you’re attracting someone based on your looks, he’s only going to be after one thing while he’s dating you. He will say and do anything to get it. And if you love Jesus, it’s not something you’ll to give up until you’re married.
Love is not selfish, but selfless (1 Cor. 13:5) – “love does not seek its own.”
In a similar situation, Paul addressed the eating of meats sacrificed to idols.
Some thought it was a terrible sin, others thought it was nothing to worry about.
To those who thought it was nothing to worry about, Paul writes 1 Cor. 8:9-13.
One might reword that, “Because of your actions, shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?” … “you wound their weak conscience and sin against Christ.” “Therefore, if wearing a particular outfit makes my brother stumble, I will never again wear that outfit, lest I make my brother stumble.”
This really can go for a lot of things, but the Apostle Paul is clear: I need to think about others in what I do—including what I wear.
Doing this shows love to my weaker brother so that he does not perish for his sin.
If you’re motivation is not love, your heart is not in the right place—that needs to change.
While he bears ultimate responsibility for his lust, if she is dressed immodestly, she is not totally innocent herself.
Love Instead of Lust (Rom. 13:13-14).
Many women in this age would be quite offended at that last statement.
I’ve seen posts on social media that it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing, he is not entitled to her at all.
And that’s exactly right, and I condemn wholeheartedly any man who would force himself onto anyone.
That’s one of the most heinous crimes ever.
But I’m not talking about a man forcing himself onto someone, but on what goes on in his mind.
This man knows he’s not entitled to her, but he pretends for a little while—this is lust.
“He should be able to control himself and his lusts!”
Well, that’s true, but that is easier for some than for others, particularly in his mind.
We should “make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
And there are many out there who will not dress modestly, and we need to be on guard at all times.
This means avoiding places where people are less likely to dress modestly—the beach or the gym.
If you can go to these places and avoid the temptation, that’s great, but if not it would be best to find an alternative.
“Make no provision for the flesh.”
But the one person (or type of person) that he should not have to be as guarded around is the Christian sister.
Being around our brothers and sisters in Christ should be a haven from sin, not as the world which is a cesspool.
It’s also true that you could be dressed in a burlap sack, and a man still lust after you—you’ve done what you can, that’s totally on them.
While women do lust, it is typically a bigger problem for men—(why else do you think she married your ugly mug!)
That said, men also ought to dress modestly to keep others from sin.
It’s easy sometimes to confuse lust and love.
The world does it all the time, but we need to do better.
We have the perfect example of love in Christ, and we should show that to others, a picture of ultimate selflessness.
If you truly love someone, you will watch out for their soul first just as Christ did.
That includes dressing modestly, and accepting when others dress modestly.
Not just accepting, but grateful, knowing that she cares about your soul so much.
But more than that, knowing that she loves the Lord first and foremost.
“Let us walk properly.”
Conclusion.
This may seem like an odd thing to talk about while we are now under a stay-at-home order, I get that.
But we aren’t going to be in this situation forever.
Oddly enough, I look forward to the day when this does become an issue again, because that means this crisis will be over.
And there are things we all need to know and be reminded of, namely love one another.
And one way we can express our love is through modest dress.
Remember to ask yourself these questions before you pick out your next outfit.
When I wear this, am I professing godliness?
Does this meet the bare minimum of a kutoneth? (“tunic” from Gen. 3:21).
Am I thinking only of myself in my desire to wear this?
Will this outfit cause my brother to stumble?
In that passage in Romans 13, Paul says to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ.”
How do we do this?
To put on Christ is to put Him on like one would a cloak.
Paul writes in Galatians that as many of us as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ (Gal. 3:27).
So in Romans, he is reminding them of their baptism into Christ, and that they need to repent, that is, “make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
To become a Christian, these are essential actions—of course we won’t do them without faith, and how can we have faith without have heard the gospel first?
So, when we have heard the gospel of Christ, let us believe it and act on it by repenting and being baptized.
For all of us, let us make sure our hearts are right with God today!